Our Lady of Weight Loss

Pig Heaven

I highly recommend adding photography to your workout routine!

It snowed - briefly - enough to cover the ground for a short time, so I put on three layers of clothing, and went for a long, long walk - camera in hand.  Hours of walking, observing, and snapping.

While I only have a few good photos to show for the afternoon, I was in 'pig heaven.' (Where did that phrase come from?) I burnt off plenty of calories, stretched my legs, and took in long, deep breaths of cold air.  And I most certainly did NOT think about food, until "Soul Food" entered my line of vision.

My favorite photo is the one of the funeral parlor "Where Beauty Softens Grief."

I invite you to take a walk in your neighborhood with the best piece of exercise equipment ever - your camera - and share your photos with us.  Imagine the great collection of neighborhoods we could put together!  I’d love to see where you live.

(See "Winter In Harlem" photo album on the left side panel.)
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Janice Taylor, a life coach/certified hypnotist, is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss and All Is Forgiven, Move On (pub. date May 2008), as well as the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club.  Visit www.ourladyofweightloss.com

A Full Day of Chocolate

Many of us have to dig deep to find the strength to steer clear of the ubiquitous boxes and bags of holiday chocolates that call our names from every office desk, kitchen counter, and check-out line in America. 

However difficult, imagine living in Germany, when St. Nikolaus Day – a chocolate holiday – is celebrated in serious chocolate fashion.

This holiday starts on the evening of December 5, when children shine their boots and put them in front of their bedroom doors. 

St. Nikolaus (not Santa Claus, but clearly a close relative) visits each and every home in Germany and leaves little gifts in the boots for the children.

As for the adults, it is customary for them to give each other chocolate the next day, December 6.  Co-workers put candy on each other’s desks, friends visit each other and exchange candy. Chocolate gifts – all day long.  Chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

By nightfall, you may well have amassed a few kilos of chocolate as well as excess pounds. 

Imagine …
definitely a day to remember ...
All Is Forgiven, Move On
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Janice Taylor, a life coach/certified hypnotist, is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss and All Is Forgiven, Move On (pub. date May 2008), as well as the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club.  Visit www.ourladyofweightloss.com

This Loose Cannon is Going to Let Loose on Canon

After considerable research – reading consumer reports and calling anyone and everyone I knew who was knowledgeable on the topic, I purchased what I consider to be a rather high-end video camcorder last week from Butterfly.com.

I specifically asked if it was easy to use, because – really and truly – I am not good at reading and following instructions. The salesman assured me that all I would have to do was hit record and then, after my cinematographic masterpiece was complete, I could easily connect my camera to my computer via wire and the video would miraculously pop up on i-movie. 

Needless to say, the instruction book is impossible to follow.  And after hours and hours and hours - even days of failure, I called Butterfly.com to make arrangements to return it.  I was exhausted.  The frustration was sending me over the edge; closer and closer to the refrigerator.  I almost ate cake! No kidding. 

The person on the other end of the phone said that I could return it, but asked me first to please call Canon, the makers of this easy to use camera, and see if they could guide me through it over the phone.  So. I did.

And this is what I found out.  The camera does not come with the right cord to simply transfer the video.  There was a cord in the box, the one I was using, but that’s for snapshots, not video.  You have to buy the video firewall cord separately.  IT’S NOT INCLUDED.

I couldn’t believe my ears.  “Why, for goodness sake” I inquired, “would you sell a product without the proper firewall cord?  How could you charge so much money and not include the bloody cord?” I was so crazed (in a nice way – after all, he wasn’t the person who sold me the camera) that he sent me the cord overnight, no charge.  It wasn’t an omission.  They don’t sell the camera with the cord.

I don’t get it.  I DON’T GET IT!  Yes, I’m yelling … I’m frustrated and angry all over again.  Why would a company charge a ridiculous amount of money, tell you that their product is easy to use, and then test your patience, intelligence and pocketbook by not including the firewall wire?

After I successfully transferred the video to the camera, I realized that the sound is off, and I’m betting that I need to order some kind of extra sound boom thing.  If this is the case, I promise you, I’m calling the president of Canon and this loose cannon is letting loose!

The Declaration of Independence and Weight Loss

I am reading "The Dip" by Seth Godin, a marketing book, and as I am wont to do, I am finding weight loss parallels on each and every page.  True, Sour Cream Onion Dip did come to mind, but that's not what I mean. 

"The Dip" is about knowing when to quit and when to forge ahead.  It's about going for it - breaking through the dips in business and relationships.

Seth quotes the Declaration of Independence. 
"all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed."

This came in handy after a weekend of eating, when old habits are easy to slip back into.  It gives us pause for thought .

Is it easier to abolish the forms to which we are accustomed ... eating and eating some more, stuffing down our feelings ... do we have the fortitude to press onward, knowing that the bigger the challenge the bigger the reward for getting past it ... or shall we stay stuck and suffer?

Think about the reward.  Don't settle for mediocrity.  You're a star. 
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Janice Taylor, a life coach/certified hypnotist, is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss and All Is Forgiven, Move On (pub. date May 2008), as well as the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club.  Visit www.ourladyofweightloss.com

The Chocolate Show (what was I thinking?)

The Chocolate Show hit New York City this weekend.  The organizers were kind enough to send me a press pass (how cool is that!), because I am the editor of the Kick in the Tush Club e-letter. Woo hoo!!

Essentially, I could go for free (if it’s free, it’s for me).  And even better - I could enter through the ‘press’ entrance, thus avoiding long lines.  How could I pass up an opportunity to do some investigative reporting?  I could be a real foto-food-journalist! 

When I arrived, I was shocked to see that the line to get in snaked around the block.  Wow!  People sure love chocolate!  They were standing on line ... and paying over $20 per person to get in.  Would it be worth it?

I figured it might be overwhelming – seeing row after row of  vendors giving out samples – so I set some guidelines for myself.  Some rules before enterting.  I would allow myself  two ozs. of really special chocolates – only chocolates that I’d never tasted before.  Like spicy cabernet chocolate.  And wasabi chocolate.   And fig chocolate.  And red-hot peanut butter chocolate …

Get the idea? There were so many amazing kinds of chocolates.  Beautiful chocolates, artistically carved chocolates, all calling my name!!!  I cracked and tasted everything.   And I now fully understand why people stand on long lines and pay.  (I may have eaten hundreds of dollars worth of samples ... okay - slight exaggeration.) 

A mighty fun event!  And it was okay to take one afternoon off.  Nevertheless, I am happy to have my All Is Forgiven, Move On wristband.  I surely need forgiveness and a reminder that my little ‘vacation’ is over!

Next year – let’s all go together!  Wouldn’t that be a riot!!!!

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Janice Taylor is a weight loss artist, weight loss coach, author of Our Lady of Weight Loss and creator of the Kick in the Tush Club.  Visit her at www.ourladyofweightloss.com

Chocolate Kisses Make Hearts Sing and Sparks Fly

Here's a tasty tidbit for you!!

The Mind Lab in New England asked six couples (not the biggest sampling but nevertheless . . .) who were hooked up to brain and heart monitors - to savor squares of dark chocolate and then smooch it up.

Both kissing and eating chocolate caused neurological sparks to fly and hearts to pitter-patter, but !!!!
the brain's pleasure center showed double the excitation rate when these folks were eating CHOCOLATE. 

Apparently the combo of fat, sugar and caffeine lasts longer than a kiss.

I'm a more is more kind of gal, so I'm thinking that one ought to let a small piece of dark chocolate dissolve in their mouth while kissing.  NOW you'll be doubling your pleasure!

Enjoy!

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Visit Janice on www.ourladyofweightloss.com
"Kooky genius ... her idiosyncratic diet may work for you!" O, The Oprah magazine

Airline Rant

In the big picture, I’m grateful to take a flight and safely make it home.  No big delays – no turbulence.  Thank you!

But you know, healthy food is my thing, so when the airline stewards roll the snack cart up and down the aisle and offer bags of peanuts, peanut butter crackers and/or cookies, I get ticked off.

‘They’ keep telling us that we are an obese nation.  Fat is an epidemic.  Then why don’t the big corporations take a lead?  (Well, we know why.)  Still, the airline industry could offer small boxes of raisins, a mini-bag of apple chips (just found a new brand – fruit ripples). Even baked chips would be an improvement.

I know that healthy choices cost more, but I’d be willing to pay an extra dollar or two.  It would be worth it just to hear the stewardess say, “Would you like a box of raisins or dried apple chips with your carrot juice?”

Imagine … a healthy nation. 
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Janice Taylor is a weight loss coach, certified hypnotist, author of Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal and All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss's 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville (hits the shelves May 2008) and the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club. 

"Kooky Genius ... " O ~ The Oprah Magazine
visit www.ourladyofweightloss.com

Joy Behar Kicks Larry King’s Tush

Joy Behar sat in as guest host for Larry King this past Friday night.  Her guests were Oprah’s Health Advisor, Dr. Mehmet Oz and Scientist Gary Taubes, author of “Good Calorie, Bad Calorie.”

Joy’s energy and comic timing was impeccable, and she may have stopped an out n’ out brawl with her wit.  Oz and Taubes have their differences of opinion as to why people are obese, why the country keeps getting fatter, are fatty foods so bad, etc.  In a heated moment, Oz put his hand over Taubes’ mouth.

Dr. Oz, don’t you remember what happened when Clay Akin put his hand over Kelly Ripa’s mouth?  You’re not supposed to invade people’s personal space, for goodness sake. I’m surprised that I’m the only one who picked up on that. (Am I?)  You’d think Access Hollywood would be all over it, like white on rice (which by the way, everyone agrees is bad for you – that’s white rice not Access Hollywood).

Bottom line. Keep an eye open for anything Behar’s doing.  She’s the real deal. 

AND Joy, you Kick Tush and have been unanimously voted in as an honorary, lifetime member of the Kick in the Tush Club.  Write me and let me know where I can send your KITT Club package!  AND … as far as your being fat (you said it, not me), I think you’re perfect.  BUT … if you want to permanently remove your excess weight, I’ll send you a copy of my book – Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal.  I’ll even autograph it, if you like. That’ll do it!  Write me: Janice@ourladyofweightloss.com

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Janice Taylor is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal (Viking Studio/Penguin) and the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club.  "Kooky Genius ... " O ~ The Oprah Magazine

visit www.ourladyofweightloss.com

Queen of Breakfast

I was in Chicago this weekend, at a cousin’s reunion – big fun – lots of food – tons of family!  AND, an extra added bonus, I met Ina Pinkney, Queen of Breakfast and owner of  INA’S restaurant in Chicago’s West Loop Market District.

Ina is a larger-than-life Celebrity Chef.  When Ina enters a room, the energy swirls, sizzles and sparks.  Watch out!!  I love big energy people. 

Anyway, we got to talkin’ about healthy eating, and Ina put me wise to Fiber Wise Pasta, so I thought I’d pass on the information to you. One serving of Fiber Wise Pasta contains 12 grams of natural dietary fiber. That's six times more fiber than ordinary pasta!  Whoa! 

And here’s a photo of Ina and me.  Be sure to visit INA’S restaurant when you’re in Chicago.  She serves a mean bowl of pasta.

PS:  I did eat more than usual, but I’m back on track.  All is forgiven, move on . . . .  (sometimes I have to say it to myself!)
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Janice Taylor is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal (Viking Studio/Penguin) and the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club. 

"Kooky Genius ... " O , The Oprah Magazine

visit www.ourladyofweightloss.com

 

Hypothetically, of course, Am I Stealing?

I’ve always found high quality disposable paper hand towels to be a nice touch in one’s bathroom.  Something special for guests to wipe their hands on, rather than cloth towels (creates more laundry; and who knows who has wiped their hands before you.)

In my quest to purchase the ‘right’ hand towel for my bathroom, I’ve done a bit of research and it seems that there are 3 ways to go …

One ...  Visit a high end paper shop (i.e. Kate’s Paperie) where you can purchase paper hand towels that are packaged in sets of 8 to 12 and range in price from $14 to $25 (approximately $2 per towel).

Or … with a click of the mouse, you can find hand towels on the Internet, with a simple floral or bird motif, priced at under $50 per 500 sheets. (10 cents per towel)

Or … and here’s my dilemma ... you can ‘find’ incredibly luxurious hand towels at a variety of high end stores (i.e. Bergdorf Goodman or Mitchell Gold+ Bob Williams furniture) for free.  They are embossed with the store's name and sometimes an uplifting message (indulge. imbibe. interact. xoxo, Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams).  Thus, adding a layer of class to your bathroom that you may not have considered.

Hypothetically, of course, while you are washing and drying your hands in these luxury bathrooms, complete with aromatherapy sprays, candles and organic rocks strewn about, you could toss a few in your bag – (approximately ZERO cents per towel). 

Now … is that stealing –or- are you simply participating in an exchange?  I ‘take’ a few towels for my bathroom and when guests are visiting, the store receives free advertising.

Is it immoral to ‘take,’ ‘borrow,’ or ‘participate’ in an anonymous advertising exchange?

I was taught, by my father, who would not get on a grocery line designated for ‘ten items or less’ if he had 11 items in his cart that ‘taking’ in any form is wrong.

To that end, I’ve decided to write to Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams and offer my advertising program in exchange for a case of their hand towels.

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Janice Taylor is the author of Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal (Viking Studio/Penguin) and the creator of the Kick in the Tush Club.  "Kooky Genius ... " O ~ The Oprah Magazine

visit www.ourladyofweightloss.com

Educating Harriet . . .

Background info …
My mother is 91 years-young.  She lives on her own, she drives, and she reads romance novels in the middle of the night, large print if available.  She springs out of bed at 4:30 a.m. (the only one of her friends not to experience arthritic pain) and by 5:30 a.m., she is fully dressed, accessorized, has meticulously applied her make-up, has enjoyed breakfast and has cleared off the kitchen table.  (She’s got me beat, that’s for sure!)

The lesson …
I arrived on schedule, as promised, with laptop in hand.

Unbeknownst to me, my mother had telephoned her friends, “The computer is coming on Monday. Yes, after lunch, Janice is going to teach me e-mail.”

The one-on-one lesson quickly grew into a group class.  I sat at the head of my mother’s dining room table surrounded by three women– one in her 70’s, another in her 80’s and my mother … 91, all of whom had pen and paper in hand – anxiously awaiting (the operative word, anxious!) my instructions that would allow them to enter the 21st century, giving full access to any and all information 24/7.

I felt quite confident that Harriet would pick up the ‘drag and double click” of email in about three seconds.  After all, she is THE person within her circle of friends who knows how to set the VCR to record.

However, it quickly became clear that the computer was a bigger deal than expected.  My mother said, “This is the biggest excitement I’ve had since we got a refrigerator.  My mother was President of the PTA and a husband of one of the teachers was a refrigerator salesman, so we bought one.  No more ice deliveries!”.

Copious notes were taken … “push ON button”  … and so it went. 

What was most poignant though was to watch my mother make contact with a keyboard that resembled a keyboard that she once knew well, with hands that resembled hands that she once typed with at the speed of light (before there were computers or electric typewriters).  Hands that understood the passage of time. Knowing hands. 

I regretted not taking photographs, but rest assured, I will next visit.  And you will know when Harriet has conquered the Internet, because she will have found my blog and read this entry.  She will be furious that I have revealed her age, as she really does look much younger. 

Fat Words

In an effort to understand people who insist upon using BIG words, I signed up for Word of The Day from Dictionary.com  I am particularly enamored with 'fat' and 'food' words.  They are fun (for me, anyway), and working on creating a sentence or two is, indeed, a productive way to spend time … a Creative Act of Weight Loss, if every there was one! 

Creative Act of Weight Loss: A time consuming, brain expanding, waist reducing,non-food activity that sends subtle, yet powerful, permanent fat removal messages to your subconscious mind, thus, changing your point of view … foreva’!

Here is today's word! Bon appetit!

embonpoint \ahn-bohn-PWAN\, noun:
Plumpness of person; stoutness

Embonpoint is from French, literally "in good condition" (en, "in" + bon, "Good" + point, "situation, condition).

With his embonpoint, Mr Soames appears to be wearing a quadruple-breasted suit.
-- Simon Hoggart, "Roll up, roll up, to explore the Soames Zone", The Guardian, February 1, 2000

His embonpoint expands by the day and his eyes are buried in the fat of his cheeks.
-- quoted in Goethe: The Poet and the Age: Revolution and Renunciation by Nicholas Boyle

* * *

Try embonpoint on for size!!!  See if anyone knows what you 're talkin' about.

Here's my sentence: His embonpoint expanded before our very eyes, as we shopped in the new food market in Grand Central Station.

(A special prize to those who can figure out whose embonpoint expanded!)  write me!

Be sure to visit my fat-burnin' website ... Our Lady of Weight Loss.  Sign up for a Kick in the Tush ... and buy Our lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal, recommended by O, The Oprah Magazine.  "Kooky Genius .... sure to work for you!"

Shocking words from "O"

I have it on good authority that the word is out … I am officially KOOKY!

Due to hit the stands Tuesday, September 18, O: The Oprah Magazine (October issue – page 276) in a sidebar subset says ...

“it takes a kooky kind of genius to turn weight loss into an art project and Taylor’s soaking in it. Six years ago she began to turn food into collages and dioramas. She shed 50 pounds in the process and has kept it off. See if her idiosyncratic diet plan will work for you.”

Wow! I’ve been called quirky plenty of times, but never kooky.  I'm not quite sure what a “Kooky kind of genius” is …  but I am truly happy to be soaking in it on the pages of O (well on a page in O – actually I'm soaking in it in a side bar on page 276).

Big shout out  to O: The Oprah Magazine, for your complimentary words - and for giving me permission to truly own my quirky kookiness.   Woo Hoo!

For a true platter of quirky kookiness guaranteed to fill you with "lite," visit Our Lady of Weight Loss.  Join the Kick in the Tush Club and pick up a copy of Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal NOW!

Horrified! I MUST speak up!!

While waiting for my hair to grow, I switched on the television for distraction and while Channel Surfing (an OLofWL approved exercise - ha! NOT), a Domino's commercial popped up for their newest product - an OREO® Dessert Pizza!

A couple of questions for Domino Pizza:  Is dessert pizza an oxymoron?  Is it your secret mission to fatten us to point of explosion?  Don't you want to be a part of the solution instead of the problem?   Just how varied are the ingredients from location and supplier base (if you bothered to mention it, I suspect they are more varied than just varied)?  And, do you realize that you have a typo on your nutrition (and I use the word loosely) information page? Very sloppy for such a big company!  (see depepnding below; taken from your site).

To my peeps - resist, please! You do not need a pizza dessert pie.  And please note that the calorie count, while at first glance may not seem like such a big deal, is based on a slice that is only 1/8th of a 10" pie.  A ten inch pie is approximately the size of a sheet of paper.  And it's filled with sugar, high fructose corn syrup and enriched flour (wheat or not, when it says enriched, it basically indicates that all nutritional value has be stripped out).
 

OREO® Dessert Pizza
            Serving size: 1 of 8 equal slices          

The pizza products listed above, when made with approved Domino's Pizza ingredients and portions, will provide the nutritional composition as indicated. Information may vary slightly depepnding on location and supplier base.

OREO® DESSERT PIZZA          

10" THIN DESSERT STYLE CRUST: Flour (Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour), Water, Soybean Oil, Malt Extract, Chocolate Flavor (Natural and Artificial Flavors, Cocoa, Maltodextrin, Gum Acacia), Yeast, Dextrose, Leavening (Sodium Bicarbonate, Corn Starch, Monocalcium Phosphate), Calcium Propionate and Soy Lecithin

VANILLA SAUCE: Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Syrup, Sugar, Starch, Contains less than 2% of Salt, Titanium Dioxide, Cellulose Gel, Natural and Artificial Flavor, Polysorbate 60. Freshness preserved with Potassium Sorbate and Sodium Benzoate

Oreo® Cookie Crumbs: Sugar, Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate {Vitamin B1}, Riboflavin {Vitamin B2}, Folic Acid), Palm and/or High Oleic Canola and/or Soybean Oil, Cocoa (Processed with Alkali), High Fructose Corn Syrup, Baking Soda, Cornstarch, Salt, Soy Lecithin (Emulsifier), Vanillin (an Artificial Flavor), Chocolate

WHITE ICING: Water, Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Modified Corn Starch. Contains less than 2% of Each: Soybean Oil, Cellulose Gel, Mono and Diglycerides, Polysorbate 60, Natural and Artificial Flavor, Titanium Dioxide. Freshness Preserved with Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate. Contains Soy, Wheat (Product is manufactured in a facility that processes peanuts and tree nuts.) 

Visit www.OurLadyofWeightLoss.com
sign up for your weekly Kick in the Tush!

         

Bad Hairdresser Karma

One would think a haircut is straightforward enough. 

You go to a salon, check in, change into your smock, get your hair shampooed, and you consult with the hair stylist. “Just take a tiny bit off the top. A trim. Just a tiny, tiny bit so the hair doesn’t fall flat. Just a little.” you say.

The hair stylist stands over you, with scissors in hand, and you fantasize, even though you’ve asked for the tiniest of trims, for an unparalleled makeover, imagining that the hairdresser is more than someone who simply cuts hair.  The hairdresser is an ‘artist’ who will render you gorgeous.

You remove your eyeglasses. You relinquish control. You are left in the dark, as you hear the clip, clip of the scissors.  You feel the hair falling on your arms and lap.

You put your eyeglasses back on and you look into the mirror to see a reflection of someone who resembles you.  An altered version of you.  Someone with a curly-mullet. Short and curly on the top; disproportionately long in the back. A nightmare.

You are not happy. You are unhappy. You are no longer at home in yourself.

You head out of town.  In search of a hammock tied between two trees, on which you will swing as your hair grows back. And you wonder, what could you have possibly done in a past life to deserve such bad hairdresser karma?

Interior Design 101 - Jason Saves the Day

Peter and I realized that our furniture is as old as our marriage (whew - decades) and that the time had come to buy some new sticks for the living room.  So, we headed downtown to Room and Board Furniture. 

Buying furniture can be overwhelming. It's a major commitment.  You've got to make sure the furniture is the right scale, color - the right price - and all pieces have to blend, mesh, mold, meld, whatever! 

Just as I was about to have a meltdown and partake in Room & Board's free Sunday coffee and cookies, Jason showed up.

Jason is a very talented interior designer.  He took us under his wing and saved us from a multitude of design and dietary disasters, so I took his picture! 

If you happen to be in NYC and are in need of good design advice, you can find Jason most days at Room & Board on Wooster Street, in SoHo! 

BeliefNet gets a Kick in the Tush from Our Lady of Weight Loss!

The Kick in the Tush Club is creating its own special space on BeliefNet.com  Woo hoo!!

The KITT Club site is going to consist of a place for you all to make contact with each other, as well as post photos and videos!  A place for my blog – The Life Through the Lens of An Ex-Fatty ™© – as well as recipe exchanges, craft ideas - the works! (Geeze Louise, I have to figure out all that video stuff now.  Anyone who lives in New York City, with expertise in site building, video making, et al., and wants to volunteer, contact me, pleazzzzzzze.  It takes a village to create a village or a virtual community, for that matter!)

Now, please be sure to let me know what else you might like to see on our site.  What a great opportunity for the KITT Club to create our vision. That’s right … it’s our site and our vision.

Our Mission: To Make Weight Loss (wellness and healthy living) FUN!  What would make it fun for you?  Write me!

Spread the word (NOT the icing!).

Visit Our Lady of Weight Loss ~
Home of the Kick in the Tush Club
Who couldn't use a Kick in the Tush?!

Flirting with Oprah

As mentioned, I was away at ‘hypnosis camp’ – a ‘working’ vacation.   Even though we were there to learn – and I did learn quite a bit -  it felt like camp. Trance Camp!  I made new friends – went to great restaurants with my new friends - ordered up fabulously healthy meals.  Happy Yum.

If you are not familiar with trace or hypnosis, you might think of it as daydreaming. Drifting into an altered state as the rest of the world goes out of focus, the background noise softens as your mind travels deep inside allowing you to 'experience' your daydream in a very real way.  Sometimes surreal. 

Daydreaming is something I do well.  And while I had the opportunity to go into trance and bring up any thoughts or visions of my future that I wanted, one of my daydreams included an appearance on Oprah!  You know how it is. If you’ve written a book, you’d have to be dead not to have fantasized about being on Oprah.  It was a lovely daydream.  I was hugging her and wearing my ‘whore’ heels (see below).  (I’ve got to find another place to wear them!)  I do genuinely feel a kinship to her.  I like her, admire her and feel as if I know her.

Anyway ... soon after I snapped outta’ it, I went to lunch with a few of my new friends, and serendipitously checked my voicemail. 

And guess who called?!  No, not Oprah.  But close enough to give me chills and plenty-O-thrills!  There was a message from John at O: The Oprah Magazine.  “This is John from O: The Oprah Magazine.  We are writing an article about self-help books.  And your book has been ‘chosen’ given your unique take on weight loss.  Please call me.  I have a question.”

It took me a solid week to make contact with him.  A week of me keeping a lid on it (NOT!).  Bottom line:  As of now, Our Lady of Weight Loss is included in an article about self-help books.  The article is scheduled for their October issue.  It could be a sentence or two, or more - I don’t know. And keeping in mind that publishing is an unpredictable business, it is not a done deal until it’s in print and in my hands.

Nevertheless, I am thrilled and hopeful, feeling one step closer to Oprah, her television show and her comfy sofa.  And I remain kind of amazed at the timing of this phone call.  I will continue my daydreams, as should you.  You just never know what you might conjure up!

Visit: Our Lady of Weight Loss  - home of the Kick in the Tush Club.  (Who couldn't use a weekly kick in the tush?)

The Three Error Rule

For the first time in nearly four years, I am on vacation and not writing Our Lady of Weight Loss’s weekly e-letter, the Kick in the Tush Club.  It feels really odd, but I’m away, all involved in an advance hypnosis intensive, hypnotizing others and being hypnotized.  As a matter of fact, I’m in deep trance a good deal of the time!  A very nice and special place to be.

One of the things the instructor said straight out was that we are required to make at least three spontaneous errors per day.  What a relief.  Whew!  … And what a great concept. 

I thought I’d pass along the “Three Error Rule” to those of you who think you need to be perfect.  Perfect in any area of life.

From now on, you are required to make at least three spontaneous errors a.k.a. mistakes each and every day.  That’s the goal. 

You don’t have to be perfect.  You don’t have to be totally in control every minute of the day. You are free to slip up, get it wrong.  The pressure is officially off!

Enjoy!

Tears on My Betsey Johnson

It is my style to handle emotional situations ahead of time, so when they actually happen I have, in essence, already moved past them.  Such was the case with regard to my son going away to college. I knew with great certainty that his departure at 18 would bring forth buckets of tears – happy tears, of course – still bucketfuls.  When he turned 16, I cried in anticipation.  I cried here and there, on and off, for almost two years.  When I finally deposited him in far away Virginia for his freshman year, I left with my mascara fully loaded. I flew back to New York and rearranged his room, happy to have some extra storage space (real estate is tight in the big city; you can’t remain sentimental for long).

Fast forward to this past weekend when the boy – sorry, the man–who hasn’t lived at home for quite some time and who has been living with his girlfriend four years – got married.  It never occurred to me that I should have started crying when they moved in together. 

Was I sucker punched or what?!  A friend had casually mentioned, “It’s more emotional than you think.”  There’s an understatement!  I’d been so busy trying to decide on shoes … The Betsey Johnson gunmetal glittery heels that my daughter says, “They’re great Mom! You look like a high-class hooker.”  vs. respectable pink pumps, that the need for waterproof mascara escaped me.

Thing is – it happens so fast. There’s the ceremony that leaps straight into a party.  Dancing, eating, drinking …  Yes, it was the greatest wedding of all time.  So much fun!  Still though, there was no time to process … to reflect.

So, I reflected throughout this week.  I remembered every happy moment from birth to the present.  And now - a deep breath, an audible sigh … and it’s time to move on.

Which shoes did I decide on?  The Betsey Johnson heels, of course. 
Who could resist gunmetal and glitter.  (photo attached)

Non-Violent Communication

Peter (my husband) and I set off on a road trip this past Thursday. (In fact, we’re still on it; I’m writing from my hotel room.) We brought these great CDs to pop into the CD player in the car to entertain – to teach – as we traveled the endless Route 95, heading south. 

The CD’s are named “Non-Violent Communication.”  They teach deeply meaningful and creative ways to communicate; rational ways – non-violent ways of communication. Non-hurtful, non-attacking ways of speaking to each other; getting our points across; being heard.

We  listened to six of the set of ten and agreed that Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. presented the material in an interesting, thoughtful and most certainly helpful way.

Yes, Peter thought, we could definitely incorporate these principles into our lives and communicate with each other in an even better way than we are already communicating. (Imagine that!)

I wondered, though, what happens when you are in the heat of the moment?  Can you really hold on to these principles?  Peter was convinced that we could.

We happily popped in the seventh CD and listened intently. When it ended, we agreed that it seemed that it was taking an awfully long time to reach our destination, at which point we, of course, realized that we had taken a wrong turn on the road (probably during CD# 6 or the last, #7) and were no longer on 95, but 270.  Essentially, we traveled about 30 minutes out of our way.

As we veered off the highway, turning the car and ourselves around, all reason went out the window and with it 'non-violent communication.'  We went from zero to 1000 in about 10 seconds.  The war was on!  Lots of yelling and blaming.  Goodness gracious.  What is it about driving, making wrong turns, or traffic jams that bring forth one's evil twin?

Tomorrow, four days later, we head back – and yes, we will listen to the rest of the CDs, hoping that the Non-Violent Way will take hold – and certainly, praying that going north is more direct than heading south.

A note to Marshall Rosenberg.  You might want to add a CD to your set, specifically geared toward Non-Violent Communication in the Car.

Blind Double Date

I suggested to my husband that it was his turn to make new friends.  Not that we don’t love, love, love our old friends.  But you know - every so often, it’s nice to add some new energy to the mix.

Lo n’ behold, not two days later, did he come home from his office and report that he met this great guy whose wife was an artist.  Seemed we had a lot in common, so they made a date for the four of us to go to a Broadway show, to be followed by dinner.

I have to tell you that we don’t go to that many Broadway shows, because they are ridiculously expensive.  But this was a special occasion. Nice way to begin a new friendship! Cool.

Plans were made.  Tickets were purchased.  We met at the theatre. 

Pleasant hellos were exchanged.  The usual getting to know you chatter, but a little stressed, even tense, perhaps.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but – hey- we just met.

At the intermission, the husbands took a bit of a stroll, and my new friend and I stood and stretched, at which time she looked me straight in the eye and blurted out.  “We split up last week. “

“What?” I replied.
“He moved out last week.  We’re separated.  We would have canceled but Broadway tickets are expensive.”
“Yes, they are,” I agreed with a forced smile.

The boys returned; we enjoyed the second half of the show, although, I confess, I was more interested in watching them shoot angry looks at each other.

We went to dinner.  Our new ‘friends’ exchanged charged-barbs.  It was incredibly awkward! 

After dinner, we walked to the corner subway and I said, “Well, we’ll be going now.” 

The two of them looked at each other; and the ex-husband to his ex- “Want to come to my place?”

“Sure,” she said.

Another dramatic turn to this very unusual double date. 

As they walked off into the sunset, I said, “Great job, hon.”

 

Visit:  Our Lady of Weight Loss; home of the Kick in the Tush Club

 

In Search of Cleavage

In Search of Cleavage
cleav·age  / Pronunciation: 'klE-vij / Function: noun (source: MerriamWebster.com)
the depression between a woman's breasts especially when made visible by a low-cut neckline

Let’s be real here.   There wasn’t much to begin with and after permanently removing 55 pounds – well, let’s just say - what’s there is cute.

Nevertheless, however cute, as I was leafing through the As We Change catalog, I came across a curious item called “Silicon Shapers.”  For only $49.00 plus shipping and handling (whose handling those babies?), I could have cleavage.  What a seductive thought.  With all those summer scoop-neck tops, low-cut necklines, I could have cleavage.

I immediately got on-line and ordered a pair of silicone shapers.  Paid extra for express delivery, of course!  No point in waiting. I’ve been waiting for cleavage since my thirteenth birthday. 

Three days later, the Silicon Shapers arrived.  I hungrily ripped open the box and there they were -  two luscious silicon gel shapers – matching pair - that I was to place on the inside-bottom of my bra, on which each cute breast would respectively yet regally sit.  Skin that has never seen the light of day would peak out and say hello to the world.

With strapless bra already in place and my lowest cut blouse nearby, I placed the silicon shapers in …. And …

My bra shifted two inches down with my breasts standing helplessly alone. Those silicon shapers are heavy.  Not only was there no cleavage, it appeared that I had heavy breasts that had changed, indeed.  No longer perky and cute, it looked as if I was drooping! 

Ah, well.  Back in the box they went.  If my cute breasts would like to reach out into the sunlight, perhaps they, with me attached, will visit a topless beach (NOT likely). 

The return form to As We Change is on my desk, ready for packing.  My codes for returning are #22 and #24:  Do Not Like; Item Not as Expected (that’s an understatement) – along with a copy of this Blog report.

I’ve come to fully embrace my ‘cuteness,’ and in fact, I am doubly grateful (two breasts worth) that there’s so little there, drooping is not an option.  My breasts defy gravity.  That’s pretty awesome!  (And I saved $49.00. … who knows what I’ll spend it on this week!)

As for the As We Change catalogue, in all fairness, I can recommend their tummy tuck Capris, as well as various creams, kitchen products and other sundry items.  While they are geared toward boomers, there isn’t a woman amongst us who isn’t intrigued by a panel that promises a tummy tuck of sorts – needed or not.

Shop on …
Janice

Visit:  Our Lady of Weight Loss; home of the Kick in the Tush Club

 

Is it so much to ask to have the fre*#)in’ salad dressing on the side?

You tell me  -

We (my husband, my son, my soon to be daughter-in-law and me) were 'dining' in one of those places that have plastic food in the display case allowing you to ‘see’ before you order.  (I am a cheap date!)

Since you have to order, wait for the food and then take the food to your table yourself, I said to my husband,  “I’ll go claim a table near the window. Order me the chicken kabob salad with dressing on the side.” 

There was lovely pond with ducks quackin’ about right outside the window at the far end of the dining room (I use that term loosely) that we could look at while chowing down.

So … I’m gazing out the window, pondering how the ducks have got it made (what an easy life), when my husband arrives with a chicken-kabob platter (not salad) that consists of a chicken kabob, greasy rice and a small salad swimming in dressing.

Before I drag my husband through the mud pie (yum), I first want to say that he is the sweetest most supportive husband in the world.  Really. 

Having said that … was that such a difficult thing to remember?  I mean anyone who knows me over the past six years knows that I don’t eat salad with dressing on it. 

Well, I had a choice to make.  I could play the martyr – the willing victim – and sit and stew and suffer.  Or, I could get up and get another salad (with the dressing on the side!).  And move on. 

I decided to move on. 

YET … the question lingers … Is it so much to ask to have the fre*#)in’ salad dressing on the side?

Visit:  Our Lady of Weight Loss; home of the Kick in the Tush Club

All Is Forgiven. Move On.

My friend, Wendy, telephoned me from her car yesterday - all a twitter.  She was driving on Old Country Road on Long Island and saw my bumper sticker - "All Is Forgiven.  Move On." ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss - on someone's bumper!

And ... she reported that she saw the driver of said bumper stickered car turning into a Burger King.

A special shout-out to whomever was turning into Burger King - All is truly forever.  You had your fun!  Now Move On!

Small world. :)

NOTE: If you would like an "All Is Forgiven. Move On." bumper sticker, simply send $2 and a self-addressed stamped envelope to:  Janice Taylor, Our Lady of Weight Loss, PO Box 1674, New York, NY 10026

Betsey Johnson Addiction

It's been quite awhile since I made a blog entry.

Things just got too hectic in all directions. I won't weigh you down with the details of my life. 

Suffice to say - some of it was amazingly good!  I thoroughly enjoyed the Our Lady of Weight Loss book tour; I worked hard to get the next book in the can, which should hit the stands some time in 2008 - and then there were the television appearances - lights, camera, actions! Such FUN!

And some of life's happenings were quite sad and well, quite honestly, rather disconcerting.  My mother-in-law died while talking to me on the telephone.  A heart attack. (Was it something I said? Oh goodness, the more dire the situation, the funnier I get.)

On the happy side - as life does go on - my son is getting married and because of him (kids! I'm sending him the bill!), I've got a jones for Betsey Johnson. I am hooked with a capital H!

Now I know that wearing Betsey Johnson is not the traditional mother-of-the-groom route, but honestly ... I just had to find something that fit the new me - the 55 pounds permanently removed me. Something that fit  the new me like a glove (in other words, you have to pour me into it to zip it up) and something that fit my new personality.  My new red hair!  It's like my brain is on fire. It's soooo red.

And really, what's the point of permanently removing all that excess weight and going from a size 18 to a size 4 (or 6, depending), if you're not going to strut your stuff. (There will be ex-family there, if you get my drift!  I'll report afterwards.  Some of whom I haven't seen in quite some time.)

Point being, I got so high at Betsey's shop on Madison Ave. - twirling in circles, believing every complimentary word from the sales staff - that I went crazy and bought three dresses.  One for the wedding and two back-ups and gunmetal glitter high heels.  I NEVER wear heels.  I can’t hold my balance. But oddly, these are ultra comfortable.  What a kick!

A few days later, my 'high' started to wane, so I went back and picked up some more sale items.  Ahhh - a fresh fix.  (Better than chocolate; I kid you not!)   I was thinking of tithing 10% of my income to Betsey Johnson.

Here's a link to Betsey Johnson's online store.  Why should I be the only one hooked?

Another great shopping site is Bluefly.com   40% off on designer clothing.  And they carry jeans that have spandex in them. Not cheap, for sure, even with the 40% off, but if you are going some place special or need a bag, shoes or accessories, too, it's a fun place to I-net-shop!

Fashion Tip:  Always get jeans with spandex.  It’s amazing!  Not only can you buy at least one size smaller, but it smoothes and holds it all in place.  Between spandex and spanx underwear, I am set!

Life may have its ups and downs, but the scale remains constant . . .
Janice

 

The Weighty Weigh-In

I went to the doctor this past week, and for whatever stupid reason, the scale wasn’t in the exam room, but rather in the hall. (Did the doctor save money by having one instead of three?)

On the way into the exam room, we passed it and the medical assistant said, "Oh, hop on, so I can weigh you."

I was unnerved, "But I'm dressed. I've got shoes on. And I'm holding my coat!!"

She said, "Yeah? So?" All right, I thought. I know how much I weigh. This is dumb, but okay. Nothing to get flustered over.

BUT OH MY GOD. Can you imagine the psychological damage that was laid on me when I saw a number that made it look like I’d gained 7 pounds?? Never mind that when home I weigh myself first thing in the morning - naked. And that this was hours later after eating and drinking ... and yes, I was wearing ridiculous amounts of winter clothes and holding my coat!

NEVER AGAIN. I'll strip in the hallway before I get on a scale with shoes and a coat. What was I thinking? What were they thinking? Don’t they know that this kind of trauma is just too much for anyone! And another thing ... that number remains in my medical charts forever!

Thanksgiving, Nutmeg and Mom

One of the Kick in the Tush Club members put me hip to the pleasures of grating your own nutmeg.  The taste is amazing and the smell - WOW! It fills the room.  Delightful, delectable, delicious.

So, I definitely wanted to bring some whole numeg with a mini-grater (garlic grater, actually) to Thanksgiving and impress everyone with my savvy cooking skills, as well as fill the room with the aroma of fresh nutmeg.

As I've mentined before, I live in a neighborhood that is lacking in gourmet items, including whole nutmeg.  I had to walk a mile for the nutmeg.  A mile there and a mile back.  Good exercise! 

Once we got to my mom's, I put the nutmeg and grater on the table and started grating away.  My mother said, "What are you doing?"  I said, "Grating nutmeg."  She said, "Oh that's silly.  I've got some right here that's already to shake straight out of the container."  And, with grace and agility, she picked up my nutmeg and grater with one hand and replaced it with the pre-grated shaker bottle with the other hand.

She was happy and all smiley, so I squirreled my grater and nutmeg away ... and when I got home I ground and grated, happily, all night long!

Brother Prosecco

My Brother is here - visiting from Ireland. He lives there. Everyone thinks that very exotic!

We broke open a bottle of Prosecco (100 calories per 4 ounces), and now we're having the best time calculating the damages that he and buddies incur in Ireland drinking 200 ozs (oh MY!!!) of Guiness.

Well, as Our Lady of Weight Loss would say ... All Is Forgiven. Move On!

Guiness - 12 ozs. / 157.5 calories
Budweiser - 12 ozs. / 145 calories
Heineken - 12 ozs. / 160 calories
Heineken dark - 12 ozs. / 165 calories (I'm surprised! would have thought it was more!)
Corona (light) - 12 ozs. / 110 calories
Corona - 12 ozs. / 147 calories

Silly fun!

Living Out My Fantasy

When growing up, whenever anyone ever asked me, "What would you be if you could be anything? Fantasty level." I said that I'd be Aretha Franklin - standing on stage - belting out R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

As it happens, I just don't have that kind of voice, so I did the next best thing!

I formed a group - The Our Lady of Weight Loss Chorus. A few of my friends who belong to the church choir - who most definitely can sing - got together with me, and they belted out my version of Amazing Grace (I rewrote the lyrics ... it's now Amazing Weight).

They were incredible, so I said, "Hey, come with me to one of my book readings. Let's sing!" So we did, twice. And a third time is coming soon.

If you're going to be in New York City on Friday, November 10, at 7 p.m., come to Bordes Book Store on 32nd Street and 2nd Avenue. I'm not bad (pretty entertaining). But together, we are totally entertaining!

There's nothing like living out ones fantasies. Go for it!

Dan Ho Macaroni-ed Here

The FAB-U-licious Dan Ho (host of his new show - The Dan Ho Show - on Discovery Health!) was hanging with me and Our Lady of Weight Loss this past Wednesday for seven action-packed hours, while his crew filmed us gettin' down and crazy with glitter and glue, making macaroni altars.

Dan Ho lost over 100 pounds a few years ago, so he was groovin' on the idea of being a Weight Loss Artist. After I showed him how to make a macaroni altar, we went into the kitchen and he showed me how to make vegetable-non-pasta pasta. In other words, he cut zucchini the long way, like spaghetti, so our pasta was the zucchini - a 'non-pasta-pasta-vegetable pasta.' I came up with the name, and we tried saying it 10 times fast but got too busy eating our non-pasta-pasta-vegetable pasta to get it right.

Here's a photo of Dan Ho in my studio. Maybe I'll make a plaque. Dan Ho macaroni-ed here.

PS: Dan said I could use the recipe in my next book!
Here it is. The Dan Ho Non-Pasta-Pasta Vegetable Pasta.

Ingredients: one zucchini squash, cut in strips, the long way; one bunch of fresh asparagus, cut in strips; one yellow squash, cubed; six cloves of garlic, sliced; tomato sauce.

Instructions: steam the zucchini and asparagus strips for a few minutes until cooked, but firm; put in big bowl; steam yellow squash and garlic; throw in bowl with the other vegetables. Heat your favorite tomato sauce in your microwave or in pot on stove. Then mix together with vegetables. Salt and pepper to taste.

Major YUM! And thanks, Dan, for a great day.

Home Again

I had a great time in Phoenix and Tempe!  Was on TV (woo hoo) and did a book signing at Changing Hands book store which was the ultimate fun.  Kick in the Tush Club members were there - fabulous!  And those who weren't joined up!  Very cool!

They were the BEST crowd.  They actually sang "Come Gather Round Fat Cells" with me (to the tune of Bob Dylan's song - The Times They Are A Changin') from the book.  I read my favorite Weighty Confession, and the crowd yelled, "All Is Forgiven.  Move On." 

Speaking of Weighty Confessions, did you read this week's W.C.?  It's from my very funny husband, who easily gained 2 lbs. while I was away - gorging himself on take-out.  The Egg Foo Yong was the tip of the iceberg.  Wrappers everywhere! 

Good to be home.

Arizona, Here I Come!

I am so excited! I'm off to Phoenix on Tuesday to introduce Our Lady of Weight Loss to gaggles of people. This is going to be the best trip ever for so many reasons.

Reason #1: Do you know Kathy Cano Murillo, The Crafty Chica? She is an amazing crafts person and one of the nicest and most bubbly people on the planet. We're going to craft-it-up/laugh-it-up while she interviews me for her podcast! I'll be sure to get the link so you guys can listen to my nasal NuYawk accent. And I'm going to ask Kathy to autograph my copy of her book - Crafty Chica's Art de la Soul: Glittery Ideas to Liven Up Your Life. Visit her site: www.craftychica.com

Reason #2: I'm going to be 'tawking n' signin' at Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe. Please visit me on Thursday, September 28 at 7 p.m. We are gonna' whoop it up! Big time. Can't wait to meet you!!!

Reason #3: Stay tuned. I'm scheduled to appear on four (count em' 4) television shows on Sept. 27, 28 and 29. I don't have the times yet, but when I do, I'll post on my website (www.ourladyofweightloss.com).

Reason #4: While it's autumn in New York, it's still summer in Phoenix. Yippee! I can get a fab tan. (I will use plenty of sunblock.)

Woo hoo :)

Glitch City

There are techno-glitches and then there are techno-glitches.  OLofWL's techno-glitch is somewhere in between those two categories.  Although the worst did not happen (as my mother says, "things could always be worse, and they will be!"  she's cheery!), it was a blow and most definitely a three excedrin category glitch.

The company that hosts OLofWL's weekly e-letter, Kick in the Tush Club, crashed.  Yes, CRASHED with a thud loud enough to be heard half way around the world.  And while the 'host' company was able to recover the database of Kick members, there are three days of sign-ups lost in cyberspace quite possibly forever.

If you or any of your friends signed up for the Kick in the Tush Club between September 9 and 12, and you do not receive the September 18th KICK, entitled "Excuse Me," please do excuse me and sign up again.

Please!  OLofWL was more upset than I've known her to be during these past 5-1/2 years that we've spent together.  She really cares about her members and the thought of anyone not receiving their Monday morning Kick in the Tush was very troubling!  She took to bed with a headache! 

Not to worry, she's up and around again.  If you want to send her a 'techno glitches happen' card or note, feel free to do so.

And please, do go to www.ourladyofweightloss.com, click on the Kick in the Tush Club and sign up.

Ahhhhh ... techno-glitches.  They happen!

Thanks for your understanding and patience.

Into the 'lite' . . . .

Face Lift

Okay ... I didn't get a face lift and it was cheap shot to get you to visit my blog! But here you are!!! HA!

Nevertheless, I can tell you with absolute certainty that if you smile big, you can effectively pull everything up and look at least 7 years young! Yes 7!

Attached is a photo that my friend Paige took today! My stain glass piece is showing at the National Catholic Museum for Art and History in NYC!

Radio Daze

Since Our Lady of Weight Loss hit the shelves (just 2 and 1/2 weeks ago), I've 'appeared' on a bunch of radio shows, as well as a television segment on ABC7-Chicago. (More to come!)

I've never 'been on' radio, but I do have a bit of television experience.

Eighteen years ago, I participated at a rally in Central Park that CNN covered. I was protesting for open adoption records (so that if you're adopted you can at least get your medical records). It was August, and I over did the mascara. It melted down my cheeks, and I looked like Tammy Faye Baker on a cryin' jag.

Then there was the time when my daughter and I were in Korea, on a heritage tour. We visited the orphanage from which she came. I was emotionally involved in the happenings and forgot to get 'made-up.' Don't know which looked worse on TV.

And finally, the time I participated in a Bobbi Brown makeover on the Jane Pauley show. My make-up, alas, was perfect.

But ... I do digress. Point being - all this publicity is new to me. Everyone has offered up advice - from tone of voice, to getting my message out. A lot to think about! And there's the key. One should never, ever think. I thought so hard during one interview, I managed to forget to mention the name of the book and the fact that I lost over 50 pounds 5 years ago. Nothing important!

And then there are the questions that come out of left field. Like when one radio guy asked me, "Would your husband sleep with you if you weighed 250 lbs.?" I should have quoted Tory Amos, "Guys would sleep with a bicycle if it had the right color lipstick on."

Ah well, live and learn. Needless to say, the best part of radio – no makeup necessary.

Strip Searched at the Airport

Okay - not quite. But still - I could have been!

I was off to Chicago last week - my first solo trip to promote the book - to appear on ABC7, local news at 11 a.m. Me on TV. Imagine!! (As my mother keeps saying in a bewildered tone, "who ever would have imagined that you'..." and then she drifts off, careful not to insult).

I was beside myself with excitement, angst, happiness - the myriad of emotions. And terribly concerned that my baggage that held my one and only television outfit, would be lost. I’d shopped for six weeks to find the perfect TV outfit. I decided to pack light and do the carry-on thing!

These new airline rules are confusing. I mean, I understand no liquid. No gels. But no gloss? No lip gloss folks! You cannot bring lip gloss on the plane! So, when my carry-on luggage went thru the scanner, bells and whistles rang, and I was pulled aside.

They security person opened my suitcase - and started removing my makeup. My bag remover (for under the eyes). Mascara! and worst of all my lip-gloss. My $20 Bobbi Brown lip gloss (that I purchased when Josh, the Bobbi Brown make-up artist covered my zit last week). "No. Not the lip gloss," I cried.

I couldn't let it go. I got into a heated discussion about the definition of liquid, gel vs. gloss with the security guard, whose patience began to wear thin. I was warned. Either surrender the gloss or check-in the luggage. He shot me a glance, "Are you carrying any other illegal products on you?"

What did he mean by that? Visions of being pulled into some side room ran through my head, so I shut up, and went with the program - I checked my bag and prayed that it would arrive with me. Gloss, TV outfit and all. And it did. Close call.

PS: The TV outfit didn't work at all!!!! What was I thinking?! But the gloss was perfect. It was the one thing the makeup artist didn't change!!!

Say "Cheese."

As you know, my book was released this past Thursday.

This is an amazing time for me (who ever would have guessed). So, you can well imagine just how excited I was when my publisher called to let me know that Reuters (the news service that sends their articles to over 1,000 publications for possible re-print – oh my goodness!!!) wanted to interview and photograph me for their September lifestyle column!

I thought my head would explode. Sheer joy. Dancing in circles. BUT - dum, dum, dum - dum .... when I looked in the mirror, I was greeted by the biggest zit ever! My left cheek was growing something that resembled a 2nd head.

I quickly blast e-mailed my friends ... “What should I do? I have to get rid of this zit within 24 hours!” Kelly suggested, "Bye-Bye Blemish drying lotion is the BEST." Lucia and Lissa agreed "toothpaste." Kate said, "No! Toothpaste is a bad idea." My cousin/sister (we're so close) Jane, said – “Run don't walk to the Bobbi Brown make-up counter and get a professional to cover it!"

And so I did, I sprinted to Barney's department store, straight to Joshua at the Bobbi Brown counter - on the way to the shoot. He mixed-up three different shades of makeup to get it just right and used one of those little spongy things to carefully pat each layer on until the blemish (such a nice word) was pretty much disguised and no longer a crimson red.

Ahhhh … relief. Thing is, it was one of those New York summer days where the humidity was fairly thick. As I made my way to the interview, I could feel the make-up melting away. I took a quick look in a mirror before I met with the Reuters journalist and sure enough, there was my 2nd head – smirking at me! What could I do?

I puffed my hair real high, and smiled a lot, thinking it would distract.

When it was time for the photo shoot, the photographer didn't say a word, but he did shoot from the right the entire time! Bless him for his expertise and subtlety.

If anyone wants to take my picture, I'm ready! Monster zit is just about gone!

Pinching Myself

With only days to go before the launch of the book, a few articles and reviews rolled in. The reviews are good, even GREAT.

It's kind of surreal. I had a sense that what I was writing was good - I mean I liked it; my husband liked it; and a few other choice people who had better like it - liked it, but when someone you don't know writes nice stuff about your book, it feels entirely surreal, mystical, magical. How did this happen?

I'm so grateful! Truly. How nice for this late bloomer.

Dayton Daily News
Palm Beach Post
Chicago Sun-Times

Radio Days

Today is my very first official radio interview. I've been interviewed by press, yes - but not live radio. No opportunity for edits! Or long pauses - or a lot of 'uhhhhhhhhs' between sentences. And what happens if I get a phone call and the 'call waiting' clicks on in the middle of the host, Julie Isphording, asking me a question and I don't fully get it?

Oh My - so many things to be neurotic about. My husband assured me that no one was going to call me and interrupt my 15 minutes of fame with a call-waiting beep. How does he know?!

Just to play it safe, I'm going to send an email to the most likely suspects - like my mother who always calls and says, "I really don't like calling you. It's always the wrong time." Well - Mom - this time you'd be right. And maybe the most unlikely suspects, like my son!!!

And theoretically, I believe if I tell people DO NOT CALL ME, even if they weren't thinking about it, now they will and might call. You know, like if I tell you, "Don't picture a pink elephant," you immediately do.

Well, I'll say this. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would be obsessing over something so wonderful! Imagine. I have a radio interview this afternoon!

WVXU-FM, Fitness Information Talk
Host: Julie Isphording
Date: Sunday, August 6
Time: 1:15 to 1:30 p.m. EST

Okay! Now do not call me! But, please, do wish me well!
Thanks. xoxo, Janny

Richard Simmons called me!

I swear! He really did.

We (my husband, Peter and I) were visiting my brother and his wife (well, my sister-in-law) and we were talking about Richard Simmons. I have no idea how the conversation started, but there we were, chatting away, and I said, "I sent him a review copy of my book and some other neat stuff, and I enclosed a note that said, 'I'm a late bloomer. Hurry!'" We laughed, and not 10 minutes later my cell phone rings.

And YES! It was Richard Simmons. He didn't say "Hi, it's Richard Simmons." He just started talking. He said, "I never thought I'd meet anyone as zany as I am." Then he said, "This is Richard Simmons." Well, of course, I knew ... three words into it I got his voice!

We talked for a good 10 minutes or so. Richard (oh yes, we're on a first name basis) complimented me up the gazoo, which I totally appreciate. He loves my book!!! and he said he would hook my site to his! Imagine!! What an inspiring and motivating phone call. He is the ultimate coach. I was flying high - well, I still am and I've told anyone and everyone who will listen to me.

I was in shock for at least an hour. My husband said I was articulate when speaking to him. He promised me that I was making sense, but afterwards, I was like jell-O. My head was spinning.

I love Richard Simmons. He was a fruitful contest answer last year! And I do have the Sweatin' to the Oldies tapes. I promise to dust them off and use them!!!!

I sure hope we talk-up someone good this weekend, too!

Happy 90th Mom

Last Monday was my mother's 90th birthday. She's pretty amazing. She lives alone (in an apartment building) and has tons of friends coming in and out of her apartment all day long. She drives, too. She's only put the car in drive instead of reverse once, that I know of!!!

We had a party at her place. Cousins, grandchildren, friends. About 20 people, not too big. Just right!

I ordered a birthday cake from Wimp's Bakery in Harlem. They're famous! Old fashioned, sky-high, amazing cakes. I had them write "Happy Birthday M-A-G" on the cake - mother, aunt, grandma ... get it??? Cause there wasn't enough to write it all out, and she's not just a mother, she's a lot of things.

The salesgirl said, "Wow, that's amazing that your mother, aunt and grandmother were all born on the same day." No matter how many times I tried to explain, she just couldn't get it. "No," I explained. "She's my mother, but she's my cousin's aunt, and my kid's grandmother." "Wow," she answered, "So funny that they're all born on the same day." We went a few rounds. I finally gave in, and said, "Yeah, I know. What a coincidence!"

And then my mother's friend said, "Is MAG your mother's nick-name?"

I give up! I thought it was so clever.

airplane food

I was armed and ready with my bag of 'flight' food but, nevertheless, shocked!!!

The Surgeon General says that obesity is a bigger threat to our country than terrorism. Congress introduced 400 bills using the word 'obesity' in them this past year. And the I was served the following on my flight to California.

Pizza (the round, doughy kind that they pop in a microwave), a bag of potato chips, a container of macaroni salad, and a fudge bar. This was what they called lunch.

I appreciate that fuel costs are high and the airline companies may need to cut costs,but serving these kinds of unhealthy foods undermines our attempts at becoming healthier both as individuals and as a nation.

I'm working on my letter to this airline but I'm sure others are guilty as well and that this remains an industry problem.

But really, folks, we've got to get together on this. We can't keep talking and eating out of both sides of our mouths!

traveling

I'm going away next week, and I managed to find a hotel room with a refrigerator in it (and coffee maker) and a local, healthy market that will deliver and stock my fridge, so when I arrive I won't go off the deep end and devour some greasy fast food.

What a thrill. I cannot not tell you how good it feels to do this. I am impressed with myself. I'm patting myself on the back!!! Good job, Janny!

Obesity in America

Close to 400 obesity-related bills were introduced in state legislatures across our country last year. Surgeon General Richard Carmona says obesity is a greater threat than terrorism!

My very first review!!!!! yahoo.

Publisher's Weekly Review,
June 19, 2006

Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal
Taylor, Janice (Author)

Taylor has maintained a weight loss of 50 pounds for more than five years. Her secret- Her work as a "weight-loss artist." Taylor says her turning point came during a meeting at a weight-loss center, when she decided to stop obsessively tracking the food she ate. Instead, she would create food-centric art whenever she had the urge to eat. She quit her job and combined her artistic leanings with a childhood fascination with nuns (she lived near a convent as a kid; the kindly nuns never commented on her chubbiness) in a creative homage to Our Lady of Weight Loss, an inner voice that provides inspiration and support to Taylor. The book offers a refreshing take on weight. Sure, there are recipes, and discussions of nutrition and self-image and exercise, but Taylor gets that most overweight folk already know they need to eat less and exercise more. In chatty, supportive prose, Taylor highlights her book with "weighty confessions" that offer absolution and cute "fat-oids" ("It takes twenty-two muscles to smile and sixty-two to frown"). And there are clear, witty instructions for art projects, including sewing, collage and lamp makeovers-most projects call for glitter glue, and lots of it.(Aug.)

my cell phones woes and yeah

For reasons far beyond my comprehension, Sprint, with whom I have had a cell phone account for over a decade, disconnected my line. I called and they said - oh, we're soooo sorry, but we can not give you back your phone number. We'll give you a new number.

I freaked. I'd just sent out about a million (no exaggeration) emails and mailings introducing Our Lady of Weight Loss to the most important and influential book and media people in the universe. (As you all know, Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal, is due to hit the shelves at the end of August.)

My cell number is my contact number. I was SURE that each and every one of them was trying to reach me, and I was missing millions of opportunities. Millions! My dreams were quickly fading into oblivion.

The 800# people just couldn't get that they were dooming my success. I tried to explain. "You don't understand. I'm a late bloomer. I'm not 20 or even 30. I don't have decades to build a career. This is IT for me. I NEED my CELL PHONE #BACK. Oprah is only going to buzz me once. No answer and it's over!"

I asked to speak to a supervisor and then another, and I was happily connected to someone who 'got it' and was able to retrieve my cell # from their system (it was cued up to be given to someone else), and she even sent me a new phone (mine was sooo old and inferior, and after all - I was a long-time customer, she said), to help heal my frazzled nerve-endings.

Lesson learned: Do not take NO for an answer; keep asking for the next supervisor!

PS ... haven't heard from Oprah YET.